don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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