I'm so fucking centered right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
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You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize