Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
