i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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