I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
