I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
