Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
