Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
