whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
