the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
