That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
