No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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