you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
