ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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