ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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