I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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