What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
