Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
