Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
