So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
