I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.