This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...