Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten