I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?