So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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