Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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