Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In other news, I just burned my penis
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize