Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize