Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize