i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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