STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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