i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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