When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
