I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize