I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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