the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
