Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We named our party play list daddy issues
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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