okay pat passed out under dana's car
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize