i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize