Dual....:-)
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
