I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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