Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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