k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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