i permit you to call me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
