He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
