you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
