Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
