But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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