i barfeds in our rink
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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