recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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