If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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