What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
