i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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