I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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