I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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