I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
