Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that's an acceptable place to lick
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
