apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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