he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
