i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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