doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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