A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
