Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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