He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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