Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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