Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
